Saturday, 26 October 2013

The House

With the oncoming of the spookiest holiday of the year, Jackie @ Bouquet of Books and Dani @ Entertaining Interests are bringing sexy back – er – SPOOKTOBERFEST back this October. They had a great turnout last year and gave away some amazing prizes!

2013 Requirements:

1. Follow - Dani and Jax, if you don’t already. They love meeting new bloggers, and they do follow back.

2. Your Flash Fiction piece should be between 300 - 500 words. 
It can be scary, funny, action-packed, romantic, or whatever you choose. 
Just let your creativity flow!

3. You must choose 3 of the 6 words listed below to include in your flash fiction piece…


4.  Highlight those 3 words in your story so we can find them.

5. Choose at least 1 of the 4 pictures below to BE THE SETTING for your flash fiction piece.

 This is the picture I chose to go with my story.


This was the house in the country that Dan’s godfather, an eccentric old geezer had left to Dan according to his Last Will and Testament.  Probate was settled.  They booked an afternoon off work, collected the keys from the estate agent’s office on Thursday 31st October, Halloween or All Hallows Eve and set off. 

The property was half an hour’s drive away from town, Louise suggested they go for a coffee before leaving but Dan insisted they’d get the drinks to take-a-way in those stupid polystyrene cups that always burnt your fingers. 

Louise snuggled down in the comfortable leather seats of the Lexus as Dan programmed the Tom Tom.  The engine purred along city lanes restricted by traffic flow and speed limits. The trials and tribulations of work diminished as country lanes opened up before them. Louise began to feel a bit calmer.  She glanced over at Dan, who smiled back at her briefly before concentrating on the road ahead.

Half a mile to go, the disembodied female voice intoned through the car console.  They both took a deep breath and then laughed at each other for being so silly.  

‘Well it doesn't look too bad from the outside.’  Dan pulled up outside the gates and switched the car engine off.  Louise opened the car door, stepped along the path and leant forward to unlatch the wrought iron gate.  Dan caught her arm impeding her action. 

‘Let me go first.’

The gate creaked ominously, Dan grinned, ‘WD40 needed on that!’  Always the practical chap, Louise smiled and let him go first.   Dusk was beginning to fall, an eeriness descended on the cottage stuck as it was in the middle of nowhere, the surroundings looking unreal and rather alien to the city girl who didn't do darkness in strange areas. 

Dan unlocked the front door, pushed it open with gentle force, the wooden frame protesting as the swollen timbers grated and creaked.
Mustiness enveloped their senses as they entered the dingy hallway.  Louise glanced up a dark stairwell, peeling plaster and wallpaper strips hanging down from the walls.  She shuddered slightly, a shiver coursing down her back. Dan flicked the light switch on the wall, no power. 

Louise routed around in her handbag for her mini torch she always kept in there for emergencies, panicking when she couldn't find it.  The twilight was fading fast; she turned to speak to Dan who was nowhere to be seen.

She called his name.  She called again.  She heard floorboards creaking above her.  A chill wafted across her body.  She turned towards the stairs; put her hand on the manky banister, gritting her teeth against the feel of the damp wood and years of ingrained dirt.

She jumped about a mile in the air as Dan touched her shoulder and spun her around.  He shone his Maglight in her face.

‘Dan, you horrible wretch! I’ll get you back for that,’ she threatened as she fell into his safe manly arms.

Word count: 498


  1. Lovely, so full of possibilities for a spooky tale and or a romantic tale, I thoroughly enjoyed it for it's subtleties. Well told!

  2. Great story, I love the ending, I expected something bad to happen!
    Visiting from Spooktoberfest :)

  3. That was just enough sinister, and very funny :_


  4. A fine offering to Spooktoberfest. Well written and a wicked tease by the end.

  5. Lots of trick & treating in this story...too fun!

  6. Hey Sally, two for one. Great book review too. I love what you've done with this story. The atmosphere and tension is well done. I think you chose a great picture for your prompt. That staircase is alive with possibilities. D

  7. What a cute read! Great job! Thanks for participating in Spooktoberfest!

  8. A very clever take on spooky vs humor. Well written and detailed. This couple is my husband and myself so I can relate to it fully. Thanks for joining!

  9. She should have hit him with the torch! *nods* Well done on screwing up the tension!

  10. Beautifully written! I was expecting a horrible ending but was pleasantly surprised. The tension level was something else! Great job! Good luck. Lily