Tuesday 21 February 2012


This is my first attempt at a challenge from Rachel Harrie
The rules are

First Campaigner Challenge, The Challenge is:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count. 
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:
·         end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)
·         include the word "orange" in the story
·         write in the same genre you normally write
·         make your story 200 words exactly!
I write in the form of poetry and here is my attempt........ I managed all the optional challenges

 Shadows crept across the wall blocking out the colours
She thought there might be more smell to the flowers
The soft feel of the petals, silky satin to the touch
A gratifying sensation that could never be enough
The dewdrops sparkling through a diamond faceted tear
The purity of nature shining through washing away her fear
Nurturing and nourishing the vibrant orange blossom
A carefully selected rarity in the botanical kingdom
She was pinning all her hopes and dreams on finding a cure
There should be no marks or stains just totally pure
Wonderment, a joy to behold, her heart swollen with pride
Now as time progresses on, advances quickly like a landslide
Her mobile communicator starts emitting its warning hum
She places it to her ear as the voice whispers ‘it’s time, Madam.’
She inhales a deep felt soul searching sigh before she acquiesces
She stands slowly taking time to arrange her dress to hide her crutches
She turns her grimace into a wide smile and holds in the pain
Even those closest to her have never heard her complain
Her personal time spent in the garden was so sacred
And as she turned her face away everything faded.


I hope you like it.

38 comments:

  1. Beautiful. Just beautiful. I really admire everyone who wrote a poem for this challenge. I tried writing one and it didn't turn out so I switched to Flash Fiction. But you found a way to make it work! Great job :)

    I'm entry #19

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  2. Thank you so much Jess for those lovely words. I've also seen your entry and 'liked' it.

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  3. This is gorgeous! It's the first poem/story I've read, and I love it! So creative. And your rhymes never once felt forced - VERY impressive!

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  5. Your poem is beautiful! Your descriptions are amazing!! :D I'm a new follower by the way :)

    I'm # 37 :)

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  6. Truly lyrical, evocative, life-affirming in the midst of pain. Lovely, Roland

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  7. Lovely rhythm, enjoyed your emotive words!

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  8. Oh a poem! And a beautiful one, at that. Wish I could do that. Lovely!

    #96

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  9. What a beautiful poem. Enjoyed it very much. I love that word "acquiesces" . Great job!

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  10. Lovely. Great poem and creative way to tackle the challenge. You get my vote!

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    1. Thanks Claire for your comment. I've just joined to follow you.

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  11. Thank you guys, really appreciate you taking the time to comment.

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  12. I love this kind of lyrical poetry. Really nice job!

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  13. oh, you surprised me with her responses....thank you!

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  14. Nice! I'm always impressed by those who can write poetry. The communicator and crutches added a twist I wasn't expecting. Loved it!

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  15. Very peaceful and sweet. I loved the strength of the verses, it was also reflected in the narrator. Very good job.

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  16. Nice job. I'm enjoying the poetry entries.

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  17. This is a lovely piece. Nicely done. New follower too.

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  18. This is really beautiful. Also, this is the first poem I've come across! I enjoyed reading something a little different.

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  19. I was captivated at the way it unfolded. She seems like a very strong character. Beautiful ode to the "purity of nature"!

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  20. Great story. I want to know what happens next.

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    1. Thank you, Traci. Hope you are feeling better.

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  21. Wasn't expecting the crutches and loved it! Nice twist in a beautifully written poem. It's refreshing to read something new.

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  22. Very nicely done, great visualization. I look forward to reading more.

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  23. Glad you thought it was different, thank you for your comment.

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  24. Lots of lovely imagery in this one. Nice job!

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  25. Lovely poem, I enoyed reading it!

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  26. I'm so impressed, such a unique take and poetic no less. I'm late getting around, but glad to read this one! ;-)

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    1. Thank you Tia, I really appreciate your comment.

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