Welcome to #WEP - Write...Edit...Publish AUGUST Challenge -- CHANGE OF HEART
Hello there beloved writers!
It's time for our AUGUST challenge, CHANGE OF HEART.
This month, we welcome writers from the IWSG (Insecure Writers Support Group) who are joining the challenge. Some are already regulars and I'm hoping many more will become part of the WEP team as well.
It's time for our AUGUST challenge, CHANGE OF HEART.
This month, we welcome writers from the IWSG (Insecure Writers Support Group) who are joining the challenge. Some are already regulars and I'm hoping many more will become part of the WEP team as well.
Here is my entry:
MEMORIES
The cold
crispness of the air
Matched her
feelings of despair
Black and
white no colour to be seen
Stark and
bare it was obscene
When would
life become bearable again?
It was such
a nightmare;
She was
caught in a snare
Trapped,
frightened, scared, low
Caught as a
doe
In the
headlights, frozen
On the
horizon a light, a beacon
She wanted
a dream
She didn’t
want to scream
How many
days, months or years
When would
they stop falling, her tears
Her
constant companion in the dark days
Never
ending, never ceasing, a black haze
She would
shake and shiver
Not with
pleasure.
Gradually,
oh so gradually
The thaw
began slowly
Month by
month, day by day, week by week
Trickling
back in to her thoughts, she began to speak
To say out
loud
To become
proud
To stand up
tall
She would
not fall
Down to the
depths, uncontrolled
Loosening
the blindfold
The mist
began to clear
She began
to hear
Sights and
sounds
Stopped
spinning around
The cold,
dark space
It wasn’t a
race
Her
therapist had said
She was
afraid of what lay ahead
Her family
strengthened her
Cuddled
her, wrapped her in their care
With love
and comfort she put one foot forward
And
proceeded carefully toward
Building
her life, as nature does every season
She would
never know the reason
He was
taken, his life over too soon.
***************************************
PRESENT DAY:
The
table was set, the fresh flowers smelt wonderful. Alice smiled.
There was a time she thought she would never feel happy again.
Everything
was ready. The doorbell rang, right on
time her guests arrived. Kisses on cheeks given and received, a flurry of
activity ensued as the ladies seated themselves, placing handbags on the floor,
muting mobiles. Then followed compliments
about the table, admiration of the flowers on the table, the pretty tablecloth
and the setting in Alice’s conservatory which was lovely and cool on this
rather hot, summer’s day. The blinds
were drawn halfway down the glass to keep the sun from baking everyone, the
atmosphere was convivial.
Freshly
made lemonade poured from a carafe, ice cubes added, tea plates and serviettes
handed out. Alice started slicing the
home-made chocolate cake which was enjoyed by all with many complementary
comments flowing from her friends.
Hmmm, delicious, it’s so moist, love the chocolate flakes on top, to
name but a few of the murmurings.
She couldn't put it off any longer, it was now time for the informal writing group to
get down to business. It was Alice’s
turn, as the hostess, to divulge her writing.
She’d chosen a piece she had written several years ago. She had gone through her diaries and notepads
and painstakingly typed her handwriting on to the computer, checked it for
spelling mistakes, grammar, tenses and context.
A fight with the printer and a dash to the stationers to buy more ink
for the mean-spirited machine at last enabled her to print out several copies.
While
she was at the stationers she had purchased four folders. She was taken with the pretty pattern on the
A4 folders. It had an empty birdcage, an
ornate mirror, a teapot with a handle, spout and lid and a tea mug, all
interspersed with bird on branches and pastel coloured simple flowers. The design had really spoken to her, she was
no longer held or imprisoned in a cage however gilded it might have been. She was now free. She was able to look at her reflection in the
mirror without cringing at the image that stared back at her. She could indulge in tea (and cake) whenever
she wanted to.
The
branches with a bird perched on them showed her there was always a new life to
be had. She could be like the bird and fly wherever she wanted to. It meant freedom.
The
group of ladies settled down, all sated with refreshments, they relaxed against
the plumped up cushions. Now came crunch
time. Alice’s heart started pounding,
she was sure her blood pressure was rising as she passed a folder to each of
her friends.
Would
they still be friends after they read her words? Would they feel what she felt at that
time? Would they think it was over the
top? Would they actually realise it was
based on fact and not fiction? Should
she tell them it was fact or should she lie and say it was pure fiction?
Alice
disappeared to the kitchen and put the kettle on while she waited for her
friends to finish reading and digesting, not only the food, but also the
material she had written.
As
she re-entered the conservatory holding a tray with the tea things on it she noticed
her friends were all holding soggy tissues in their hands, hands that were
dabbing at eyes, throats were being cleared from the lumps congealing in them.
She placed the tray on the coffee table and looked up to see Lilian looking at
her, followed by Daphne gazing at her with Anita joining in the collective stare.
Alice
blushed as the heat rose up from her rib cage, covering her throat in a pink
glow, moving up to her cheeks as her forehead glistened with a slight sheen.
Her
three friends stood as one as they moved in unison to stand beside her. They enveloped
her in their arms hugging her tightly.
Daphne placed a kiss on her brow, Anita rubbed her hand up and down her
back while Lilian squeezed her hand in hers.
Oh
it felt so good to have friends.
It
felt so good not to be judged.
It
felt so good to be loved.
It
felt so good to finally let it all go.
Word
count: 960 - NCCO
That was very emotional. I could feel her indecision/regrets that she'd shared her writing as she waited for them to read it. You show nicely how they all felt without them speaking. Very good job.
ReplyDeleteThe poem was and is especially very dynamic. It is filled with emotional tension. You did an excellent job of balancing it.
ReplyDeleteShalom aleichem,
Pat G
How lovely to have supportive family and friends.
ReplyDeleteAnd how wonderful to emerge from the concrete cloud of despair, stronger, taller, free.
Very emotional, both the poem and the story. I understand why her friends are crying. She is fortunate to have such understanding friends.
ReplyDeleteSweet and emotional. Support can be an artist's best friend.
ReplyDeleteI had to change my link on the sign up since it wasn't working.
A lovely poem and story of renewal from loss. Portrayed well. It touches the heart.
ReplyDeleteSure can sense the rising emotion with each word. Having or not having that support can make all the difference.
ReplyDeleteHi Sally - loved the poem giving us some background ... to her life and recent struggles; then the explanation for her friends to read; while she worried about how they would feel ... and whether they would understand and be empathetic; and especially if the story could change their hearts ... clever and well done - cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteThe anxiety about writing is common among writers, especially when it's autobiographical. It's rare to see a poem as part of the entry - that was lovely. Both the poem and the story can stand alone. Great job.
ReplyDeleteI always find it courageous to write real life stories. I’d be terrified to show my friends a piece written base on true life events, especially one that leaves you vulnerable. I definitely felt her fear and bravery. Great job.
ReplyDeleteThere is so much about this I like. The poem and the story, the way they are connected, it's a delicate balance. It's wonderful how you show so much emotion without the friends saying a word. Plus, it's nice to see such love and support. Not everyone has that. A beautiful story.
ReplyDeleteI was impressed by how the poem and the story manage to interweave without being overtaken by one another.
ReplyDeleteI really like the words at the end about finally feeling good being loved and not judged and letting it go.
ReplyDeleteWhat a combo! First the stage is set with the poem, then the finale with her leap of faith by writing about the emotional experience, and the result which will help her on her way. When others show they care, it softens the sadness.
ReplyDeleteThat's a beautiful poem and a wonderful story of friendship. It is hard to share deeply personal writings with friends, but it makes it better when they show kindness and understanding.
ReplyDeleteSally, I always love your deeply emotional writing and I love how you've combined a poem and prose to tell this story which I see is met with wonderful comments.
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting for WEP. I was admiring your badges which go right back to RFW days. Makes me all nostalgic...
Denise
I like the way you used both poetry and prose to set the scene. I don't think each would have had the same impact without the other!
ReplyDeleteI like how you used both poetry and prose here, and your piece was filled with so much emotion. Thank you for sharing it with us.
ReplyDeleteI love the poetry-prose combination which makes for a unique and refreshing perspective.
ReplyDeleteAs Deniz mentioned above, it's the blend that lends impact to your entry!
Well done.
An optimistic tale, showing a way forward. The poem was beautifully written too.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful use of the prompt. Very deep. Great stuff!
ReplyDeleteTwo emotional pieces, both heartfelt.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful pairing of the poem and the story, both of which really grabbed onto the heart and held on for dear life!
ReplyDeleteThat's very impressive. Great stuff.
ReplyDeleteIt’s a touching story, and yet you got in some of that humor that always crops up in life—I loved the bit about the mean-spirited printer!
ReplyDeleteThis was delightful! I loved the imagery.
ReplyDeleteAwesome stuff. Impressive!
ReplyDeleteThat was heartfelt and I felt I was in the room with the ladies. Well done!
ReplyDelete