Friday 11 January 2013

Admission

100 Word Challenge for Grown Ups – Week#72


The prompt this week is:
…you said you’d do WHAT?….

You have the usual 100 words to add to these 5 and make sure it is suitable for a PG certificate and has a link back here.

Admission
I held my breath after telling my mother
Waiting for an onslaught of verbal abuse and anger
‘You said you’d do what?’
Her words spewed out like a machine gun
I’d had enough of her vitriol and venom
I sat up and returned her malignant stare
‘Don't pretend that you give a damn or care,’
I replied, desperately trying to keep calm
As my fingernails gouged the inside of my palms
‘He’s my father and I will meet him tomorrow.’
It was time to let go of this hate and sorrow.
She surprised me again with a whisper
‘He was my one and only lover.’

8 comments:

  1. Very good Sally- That last line was terrific! Really showed Mom to be very vulnerable. Not what I as expecting thinking from the daughter perspective.

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  2. That last line surprised me too. Really well done, felt the emotion.

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  3. The last line is surprising but fits very well. Beautiful. ~Miriam

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  4. What a twist at the end. Well done. (:

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  5. Didn't see that coming Sally. Stays with the reader. Excellent

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  6. I love the harshness of your words "malignant," "vitriol and venom" contrasting with the softness of "whisper" and "one and only lover." Pretty darn cool.

    And by the way Sally, I've nominated you for the Wonderful Team Member Readership Award. Thanks for being such a loyal reader!
    http://jollettetc.blogspot.com/2013/01/awards-shmwards-im-no-jody-foster.html

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  7. I love twists in the end. So unpredictable, it leaves you hanging at every last word you say. That's exactly how I felt here. Great writing Sally!

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