Thursday 25 September 2014

LAST CHANCE


Our September challenge is Changing Faces, hosted by the lovely Denise Covey

FLASH FICTION, POETRY, NON-FICTION, ARTWORK, PHOTOS
OPEN TO ALL

  1. SUBMIT your name to the list below NOW or direct link from Sept 24-26 AEST or until linky closes (Earlier entries receive more comments)
  2. CREATE your entry according to the monthly theme - SEPTEMBER - CHANGING FACES.
  3. EDIT your entry until it sparkles.
  4. PUBLISH your entry on your blog on the dates shown, stating feedback preferences.
  5. READ other entries, giving feedback as requested.

Open to all genres - Fiction works can be - Adult, YA, MG. All entries maximum 1,000 words.

Please Email Denise if you have more questions:
den.covey@gmail.com


Here is my story:



LAST CHANCE

Shadows crept across the wall blocking out the colours
She thought there might be more smell to the flowers
The soft feel of the petals, silky satin to the touch
A gratifying sensation that could never be enough
Dewdrops sparkled through a diamond faceted tear
The purity of nature shone through washing away her fear
Nurturing and nourishing the vibrant orange blossom
A carefully selected rarity in the botanical kingdom

She pinned all her hopes and dreams on finding a cure
There should be no marks or stains just totally pure
Wonderment, a joy to behold, her heart swollen with pride
Now as time progressed on, it advances like a landslide

Her mobile communicator emitted its warning hum
She placed it to her ear, the voice whispered; ‘it’s time, Madam.’
She inhaled a deep felt, soul-searching sigh before she acquiesces

She stood slowly, taking time to arrange her dress, hide her crutches
She turned her grimace into a wide smile, holding in the pain
Even those closest to her have never heard her complain
Her personal time spent in the garden was so sacred
As she turned her face away everything faded.

The next time she awoke and looked in the mirror, if all had gone well, another face would look back at her and in that moment, that final all encompassing moment, she would be reborn in another place, another time, another chance for redemption, another life would be hers to help fulfil dreams and aspirations.  She was tired of the game though and sometimes wished the spell or as it was now, a curse, would be lifted. 

Which face that looked back at her would be the final one?  When would she have done her job properly that she could finally rest and meet her own family in that far off haven of idyllic peacefulness?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Millicent opened her eyes slowly, gradually taking in the daylight
The bed was so comfortable she had slept right through the night
This short break away from home and hearth was just the ticket
No alarm clocks, no kids, no husband to steal all the blanket

Stretching luxuriously Millicent looked at the beside clock
It was gone eight and that was certainly a shock
The thick goose down duvet snuggled around her body
A few more minutes before she rose and found a cup of tea

She would call for room service and have breakfast on a tray
A nice lazy morning would be a good start to the day
The sunshine filtered through the net curtains
The draped thick fabric dressing the window like aprons

Sentinels to the outside world keeping her safe and secure
The bedside table was crowded with paperwork and   literature
She would decide what to do with her day when she had eaten
The full English breakfast in decadent fashion.

Ignoring her tablet and her mobile phone
She wanted a few days alone
She ignored her virtual Facebook friends
Ignored the blogosphere, she would make amends
Next week when she rejoined the rat-race
 Talking and meeting people face-to-face

For now she would read a book
Digest her food and take a look
At diversions to distract her throughout the day
A tour of the lakes would take her mind far and away

The weather was kind, the river boat was sturdy
With entertainment, a man playing the hurdy-gurdy
Millicent felt refreshed, her face tingled with the fresh air
 She must look a tangled mess with her windswept hair

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The last day of her mini-break Millicent woke up feeling rather strange, she put it down to the thought of returning home, although she had missed her family and friends, she felt rejuvenated and wondered if she would be able to put in place the changes she wanted.

Of course there would be long discussions with her husband who really didn't like change, with her boss who would look at her quizzically, raising his eyebrow, as if to say, ‘you want to do what?’

Millicent wasn’t going to let anybody knock her ideas down this time, somehow she felt different, she couldn’t put a finger on this feeling but it was almost as though she was a different woman.  A woman with a breadth of knowledge gleaned over many years, or even centuries. 

She laughed at herself with such fanciful ideas, she was who she was, she couldn’t be anybody else, she would change things about her life but she would still be Millicent.
The shower was hot and wonderful on her skin, the beauty products she’d bought in town were silky smooth as she rubbed them in to her skin.  The smell was wonderful, so feminine and reminiscent of a bygone age.  

Waiting for the mist to clear from the bathroom mirror, Millicent donned her travelling clothes, a pair of comfortable jeans, a loose T-shirt and a cardigan, socks and ankle boots completed her ensemble.  

She picked up her cosmetic bag and looked in the mirror.  She smoothed foundation on her face, massaging it lightly into her skin, a glance in the mirror to make sure she hadn't left any streaks, she looked down to choose her eye shade, loaded the brush and applied it in light, quick strokes across her eyelids in shaded graduations.

The finishing touch, the mascara brush was poised over her eyelashes when she felt she was being watched from behind the mirror.  Millicent looked at her reflection; there was something subtly different about her face today.  She couldn’t understand what was different but different it was.  

She turned her head, her profile shimmered in and out of the shadows, Millicent shuddered slightly as she turned to the other side; the contours on her face were subtly different.  She took a tissue and wiped away the make-up.  It didn't make any difference. 

A reassuring murmur; a quiet voice in the back of her mind,  a pleasant feeling crept over her,  a feeling of relief as another’s mind melded with hers.

Word count: 999

 




18 comments:

  1. I like the idea of a person reborn in another, one who is receptive to the idea, just a faint feeling that something has improved in one's life. Is that why we have deja vu? Tasty to contemplate that we might have been before this incarnation. Well done and this held me right to the end, Sally!

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  2. Hi Sally
    Your prose was almost poetic. I loved the ebb and flow. The end was a surprise and begs for more. Does she remember who she is once the other person takes control? Is there a struggle? Does she have periods of confusion or metal illness? So many possibilities. I can see this becoming a longer story. Great job.
    Nancy

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    1. I wish I had time to make it longer .... perhaps I should make the time.

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  3. Hi Sally! This is wonderful. So different. Quite stupendous use of the prompt. I love the idea of Millicent. Don't all women want to do a Millicent once in their lives? Away from the responsibilities and the ho hum? As Nancy says, you could extend this. Maybe you could go creepier and it could work for Ghost Story. My favourite line: '...she would change things about her life but she would still be Millicent.' This is hard for some people to understand, especially those who resist change.

    As always, Sally, thanks so much for posting for WEP. And for surprising us with your endless creativity.

    Denise

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    1. Go creepier - yikes, I'll have to think about that one for October.

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  4. You are such a good writer, Sally! Lovely prose. Suggestive story. Like the fairy-tale slant with Millicent.
    You write in a way that makes me want to read more!
    Best wishes,
    Anna

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  5. So clever to weave both poetry and prose to mirror Millicent's thoughts and reality.

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    1. The first poem was from something a few years back that I tweaked a bit for this prompt and then followed it up. Thank you for taking the time to read it.

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  6. I love to see creative styles like what you've done with this piece using poetry and prose, Sally. Writers are increasingly breaking out of the traditional mould, creating fresh narratives that sustain the reader's attention. Well executed in your story. There are possibilities to take this theme/storyline further like Denise said. You may continue with Milicent's character or not. You may consider creating an entirely new story by stretching the theme and building the plot further to see how far it goes. Whatever you decide, you've certainly got our attention and support:)

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  7. I like writing that thinks outside the box. You've done this well Sally. For me, poetry and prose essentially remain inseparable and this is a nice illustration of how the two can travel together.

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  8. The most startling changing face is definitely one's own. I recently grew a proper mustache and beard for the first time. I'm still occasionally surprised when I look in the mirror.

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  9. Wow, this makes me wonder what happened, what the rest of the story is, and even what came before. Wow again. Good job and a very pleasant read... Lovely...

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  10. Loved those transitions from one scene, and one face, to another. Good job Sally; this was intriguing.

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  11. Hi, and sorry I am late. Millicent's mini break sounds idyllic! I liked the blending of poetry and prose for the narrative, very intriguing. You could take this in lots of different directions. Enjoyed that thoroughly.
    Have a great week ahead.
    Nila.

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  12. You are skilled at your craft. I want to know the rest of the story.... the whole story. Thank you for your blog support. I appreciate you stopping by and always enjoy your comments. Have a great week.

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  13. I do hope this new incarnation is more satisfactory, but the desire for the 'curse' to end leaves me wondering if all that haunts us can be left behind. Love this and I'm looking forward to the next 'creepier' edition!

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