Our
September challenge is Changing Faces, hosted by the lovely Denise Covey
FLASH
FICTION, POETRY, NON-FICTION, ARTWORK, PHOTOS
OPEN TO ALL
OPEN TO ALL
- SUBMIT your name to the list below NOW or direct link from Sept 24-26 AEST or until linky closes (Earlier entries receive more comments)
- CREATE your entry according to the monthly theme - SEPTEMBER - CHANGING FACES.
- EDIT your entry until it sparkles.
- PUBLISH your entry on your blog on the dates shown, stating feedback preferences.
- READ other entries, giving feedback as requested.
Open to all genres - Fiction works can be - Adult, YA, MG. All entries
maximum 1,000 words.
Please Email Denise if you have more questions:
den.covey@gmail.com
Here is my story:
LAST CHANCE
Shadows
crept across the wall blocking out the colours
She
thought there might be more smell to the flowers
The
soft feel of the petals, silky satin to the touch
A
gratifying sensation that could never be enough
Dewdrops
sparkled through a diamond faceted tear
The
purity of nature shone through washing away her fear
Nurturing
and nourishing the vibrant orange blossom
A
carefully selected rarity in the botanical kingdom
She
pinned all her hopes and dreams on finding a cure
There
should be no marks or stains just totally pure
Wonderment,
a joy to behold, her heart swollen with pride
Now
as time progressed on, it advances like a landslide
Her
mobile communicator emitted its warning hum
She
placed it to her ear, the voice whispered; ‘it’s time, Madam.’
She
inhaled a deep felt, soul-searching sigh before she acquiesces
She
stood slowly, taking time to arrange her dress, hide her crutches
She
turned her grimace into a wide smile, holding in the pain
Even
those closest to her have never heard her complain
Her
personal time spent in the garden was so sacred
As
she turned her face away everything faded.
The
next time she awoke and looked in the mirror, if all had gone well, another
face would look back at her and in that moment, that final all encompassing
moment, she would be reborn in another place, another time, another chance for
redemption, another life would be hers to help fulfil dreams and
aspirations. She was tired of the game though
and sometimes wished the spell or as it was now, a curse, would be lifted.
Which
face that looked back at her would be the final one? When would she have done her job properly
that she could finally rest and meet her own family in that far off haven of
idyllic peacefulness?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Millicent opened her
eyes slowly, gradually taking in the daylight
The bed was so
comfortable she had slept right through the night
This short break
away from home and hearth was just the ticket
No alarm clocks, no
kids, no husband to steal all the blanket
Stretching
luxuriously Millicent looked at the beside clock
It was gone eight
and that was certainly a shock
The thick goose down
duvet snuggled around her body
A few more minutes
before she rose and found a cup of tea
She would call for
room service and have breakfast on a tray
A nice lazy morning
would be a good start to the day
The sunshine
filtered through the net curtains
The draped thick fabric
dressing the window like aprons
Sentinels to the
outside world keeping her safe and secure
The bedside table
was crowded with paperwork and literature
She would decide
what to do with her day when she had eaten
The full English
breakfast in decadent fashion.
Ignoring her tablet
and her mobile phone
She wanted a few
days alone
She ignored her virtual
Facebook friends
Ignored the
blogosphere, she would make amends
Next week when she
rejoined the rat-race
Talking and meeting
people face-to-face
For now she would
read a book
Digest her food and
take a look
At diversions to
distract her throughout the day
A tour of the lakes
would take her mind far and away
The weather was
kind, the river boat was sturdy
With entertainment,
a man playing the hurdy-gurdy
Millicent felt
refreshed, her face tingled with the fresh air
She must look a tangled mess with her
windswept hair
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The
last day of her mini-break Millicent woke up feeling rather strange, she put it
down to the thought of returning home, although she had missed her family and
friends, she felt rejuvenated and wondered if she would be able to put in place
the changes she wanted.
Of
course there would be long discussions with her husband who really didn't like
change, with her boss who would look at her quizzically, raising his eyebrow,
as if to say, ‘you want to do what?’
Millicent
wasn’t going to let anybody knock her ideas down this time, somehow she felt
different, she couldn’t put a finger on this feeling but it was almost as
though she was a different woman. A woman
with a breadth of knowledge gleaned over many years, or even centuries.
She
laughed at herself with such fanciful ideas, she was who she was, she couldn’t
be anybody else, she would change things about her life but she would still be
Millicent.
The
shower was hot and wonderful on her skin, the beauty products she’d bought in
town were silky smooth as she rubbed them in to her skin. The smell was wonderful, so feminine and
reminiscent of a bygone age.
Waiting
for the mist to clear from the bathroom mirror, Millicent donned her travelling
clothes, a pair of comfortable jeans, a loose T-shirt and a cardigan, socks and
ankle boots completed her ensemble.
She
picked up her cosmetic bag and looked in the mirror. She smoothed foundation on her face, massaging
it lightly into her skin, a glance in the mirror to make sure she hadn't left
any streaks, she looked down to choose her eye shade, loaded the brush and
applied it in light, quick strokes across her eyelids in shaded graduations.
The
finishing touch, the mascara brush was poised over her eyelashes when she felt
she was being watched from behind the mirror.
Millicent looked at her reflection; there was something subtly different
about her face today. She couldn’t
understand what was different but different it was.
She
turned her head, her profile shimmered in and out of the shadows, Millicent
shuddered slightly as she turned to the other side; the contours on her face
were subtly different. She took a tissue
and wiped away the make-up. It didn't
make any difference.
A
reassuring murmur; a quiet voice in the back of her mind, a pleasant feeling crept over her, a feeling of relief as another’s mind melded
with hers.
Word count: 999
I like the idea of a person reborn in another, one who is receptive to the idea, just a faint feeling that something has improved in one's life. Is that why we have deja vu? Tasty to contemplate that we might have been before this incarnation. Well done and this held me right to the end, Sally!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind comment.
DeleteHi Sally
ReplyDeleteYour prose was almost poetic. I loved the ebb and flow. The end was a surprise and begs for more. Does she remember who she is once the other person takes control? Is there a struggle? Does she have periods of confusion or metal illness? So many possibilities. I can see this becoming a longer story. Great job.
Nancy
I wish I had time to make it longer .... perhaps I should make the time.
DeleteHi Sally! This is wonderful. So different. Quite stupendous use of the prompt. I love the idea of Millicent. Don't all women want to do a Millicent once in their lives? Away from the responsibilities and the ho hum? As Nancy says, you could extend this. Maybe you could go creepier and it could work for Ghost Story. My favourite line: '...she would change things about her life but she would still be Millicent.' This is hard for some people to understand, especially those who resist change.
ReplyDeleteAs always, Sally, thanks so much for posting for WEP. And for surprising us with your endless creativity.
Denise
Go creepier - yikes, I'll have to think about that one for October.
DeleteYou are such a good writer, Sally! Lovely prose. Suggestive story. Like the fairy-tale slant with Millicent.
ReplyDeleteYou write in a way that makes me want to read more!
Best wishes,
Anna
Thank you Anna.
DeleteSo clever to weave both poetry and prose to mirror Millicent's thoughts and reality.
ReplyDeleteThe first poem was from something a few years back that I tweaked a bit for this prompt and then followed it up. Thank you for taking the time to read it.
DeleteI love to see creative styles like what you've done with this piece using poetry and prose, Sally. Writers are increasingly breaking out of the traditional mould, creating fresh narratives that sustain the reader's attention. Well executed in your story. There are possibilities to take this theme/storyline further like Denise said. You may continue with Milicent's character or not. You may consider creating an entirely new story by stretching the theme and building the plot further to see how far it goes. Whatever you decide, you've certainly got our attention and support:)
ReplyDeleteI like writing that thinks outside the box. You've done this well Sally. For me, poetry and prose essentially remain inseparable and this is a nice illustration of how the two can travel together.
ReplyDeleteThe most startling changing face is definitely one's own. I recently grew a proper mustache and beard for the first time. I'm still occasionally surprised when I look in the mirror.
ReplyDeleteWow, this makes me wonder what happened, what the rest of the story is, and even what came before. Wow again. Good job and a very pleasant read... Lovely...
ReplyDeleteLoved those transitions from one scene, and one face, to another. Good job Sally; this was intriguing.
ReplyDeleteHi, and sorry I am late. Millicent's mini break sounds idyllic! I liked the blending of poetry and prose for the narrative, very intriguing. You could take this in lots of different directions. Enjoyed that thoroughly.
ReplyDeleteHave a great week ahead.
Nila.
You are skilled at your craft. I want to know the rest of the story.... the whole story. Thank you for your blog support. I appreciate you stopping by and always enjoy your comments. Have a great week.
ReplyDeleteI do hope this new incarnation is more satisfactory, but the desire for the 'curse' to end leaves me wondering if all that haunts us can be left behind. Love this and I'm looking forward to the next 'creepier' edition!
ReplyDelete