Thursday, 23 August 2012

THE PICNIC

Challenge No. 43
PROMPT:
The “Romantic Picnic”
Who initiates the picnic; is this a first date or dedication to the continuing relationship?
Is there an agenda to the picnic: marriage proposal, pregnancy announcement, promotion or new job assignment?
Is the picnic all about the continuing romantic relationship: one lover affirming their devotion to the other or a mutually shared, opportune moment of togetherness?
*** Any genre, any POV; just remember to include a romantic element and a picnic in 400 words or less. ***

Here is my contribution:

THE PICNIC
I read his text again, ‘Saturday, forecast good, fancy a picnic?’
I took a deep breath and shuddered, he keeps trying to be romantic
I’m sure he has high hopes that this tryst he has planned will be idyllic
He’ll make sure that we have a nice hamper with white linen fabric

Nightmare visions from my childhood of trudging through fields, over stiles
Arms piled high with bags and rugs and cushions tramping for miles and miles
The adults would find a beautiful spot always avoiding dried out cow pats
Thistles and nettles always broke through the tartan rug and caught me out


The wasps would start to swarm and the ants scurried back to their nests
Traversing over the paper plates holding the soggy jam sandwiches and Scotch eggs
I felt quite safe as the black and white Friesian cows stayed at the far end of the meadow
But during the course of the lengthening shadows they’d approach us with a low moo


Saturday dawns bright and clear so we can’t cancel and go for a lovely pie and a pint
My beau arrives in a chipper mood as he ushers me to his Bentley Continental GT V8
The smell of the luxury leather seats, hood down, the wind tousling my hair
The roar of the engine, gliding round leafy lanes, the smell of the hedgerows

As I relaxed my mood lifted considerably my heart became lighter and gladder
I realised how lucky we were to be spending this quality time together
We slowed down as he indicated to pull in, the sound of the engine died
The quietness engulfed us as we became aware of the sounds of the countryside

His eyes crinkled gently at the corners as he smiled at me, catching my hand
Laughing we gathered up the hamper and accoutrements and started over the farmland
The blanket on the ground held an array of tempting titbits, with a glass of wine
I was feeling pampered and spoilt, loving every minute, our fingers entwined

‘You know I love you,’ he whispered softly turning his head to look at me
Crikey, I thought, he is so adorable today, as I smiled and nodded nonchalantly
‘Your fingers are so slim and elegant,’ he said as he turned my hand over inside his
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a dark blue box.  Oh my! Gee whiz!


Word Count:  400 (without title)


25 comments:

  1. Hi,

    Hee hee. He's a fast worker! Lovely.

    best
    F

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  2. Oh, I loved this! Great story. :)

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  3. Dear Sally,
    This was definitely a romantic picnic and not at all like the picnics of your heroine's childhood! Great story!
    Best wishes,
    Anna
    RFW No.43 - 'Romantic Picnic'

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  4. A dream picnic with a happy end, what more can one ask for? :) Enjoyed reading about your fear of picnics and your happy one too.

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  5. Gnats and biting bugs always itched their way into my picnics, too! :-) There are so few romantic men out there anymore. She was extremely lucky to find one! Great entry, Roland

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  6. Hi Sally
    I love your voice. You paint a vivid picture of your MC and leave us guessing what her answer will be. I did much the same but mine, well, I'm an American and my voice shows it. LOL
    Nancy

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  7. It certainly is hard to find a gentlemen these days.. something in her voice tells me that she might not be as sure about accepting as he seems to be.. but you definitely made me want more!! :)I wanna know what happens? Did she accept??

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  8. Very lyrical and descriptive. Definitely romantic.

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  9. Hi, Sally,
    Nice idyllic picture here with a wonderful surprize at the end. Like Francine's submission, you've also taken me to another time and place.

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  10. I liked the anticipation of a spoiled day, and then the beauty and romance and the sparkly new gem :) This had a nice rhythm to it.

    .......dhole

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  11. Sally : you wirte very good and your story is great, a very nice romantic story. I´m glad when people is happy and you are, Good weekend next to your love. Kiss Elen

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  13. I love happy endings. Thanks for visiting my blog.

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  14. Amazing lyrical quality, Sally. It reads like a story and a poem at the same time. Not easy to do! Lovely prosetry:)

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  15. Very descriptive. Loved the way you have done the ending :) Thanks for coming over to my blog.

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  16. I'm glad she decided to go on the picnic even if she hadn't wanted to originally. It paid off for her! Great story

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  17. Sally,

    You have some truly wonderful description here. I LOVE weaving description into the fabric of a story. It adds so much depth. Nicely written.

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  18. Sally,its amazing,i loved the detailed description of every single thing,its so romantic,i really enjoyed,thanks for sharing

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  19. This was really good Sally. Loved the description of her childhood memories of family picnics. I also enjoyed your writing style here, very poetic. Makes me wish it was a little longer...(:

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  20. Dear Sally,
    Yes, great story!! Loved how you tied the photos in with your beautiful words. The ring...well, it is simply stunning!! Did you accept it? (smile). Thanks for sharing my friend.

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  21. Hi Sally
    This is adorable. I love how you reminisce of picnics in times past, and not so excited to be repeating the experience. Yet your beau comes through to a lovely surprise at the end! Love the way you've used the senses - the smells, the tastes, the sights. It made for a wistful experience.

    Don't forget to come back to RFW if you'd like to vote for your favourite entry this week. Go with your gut. Really should be someone who kept to the word limit and has a romantic element! Poll will go up Monday AEST.

    Thanks for entering! We made our 20 goal!

    Denise

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  22. Awh bless! I love the line:
    I was feeling pampered and spoilt, loving every minute, our fingers entwined

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  23. Your heroine has an adorable voice :)

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  24. I liked this. The part about childhood picnics resonated with me, particularly with oast houses in the background. I liked the romanticism of the second part - how lovely:-)

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  25. Dear Sally,
    Back for a second reading. A Bentley Continental GT V8 is definitely a man's car. Sadly way out of the price range of a lowly poet such as I! LOL

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